I Hear Me In You

I am in your voice. 

Not the me I am today, but the me I grew from over the past five years. I’m not here to say I’m all the way grown. I’m still doing that, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop as long as I’m still breathing.

I’m here to say you’re on your way. Just like I was. Even though it doesn’t feel that way.

Listen. 

I hear me in your fears. I hear me in your anxiety. I hear me in your terror, your scared in-between, wondering what just happened to you and what the hell will happen next. I am loud and clear in the way your voice trembles, the questions you have, the defeat you feel, the tears you wipe away.

The nauseating, keep-you-up-at-night fear you have for your kids and for their safety.

I hear me when you wonder how to handle a child exchange with the person who terrorizes you for sport. I hear me as you try to decipher legal mumbo-jumbo that isn’t meant to be understood by normal human beings. I hear me as you worry about your finances, how to juggle all the responsibilities and how to establish and stick to the new-found boundaries you hesitate to enforce.

I hear me when you want to “just be nice,” or “not cause any trouble,” or “make things easy.”

I hear me when you wonder how you will pay for that legal retainer. I hear me when you just want this whole thing to be over. I hear me when you question your gut, when you tell yourself and try to believe that none of the insults mean anything, when you shake off nightmares and pull yourself out of triggering emotional moments.

I hear me when you call the police, scared and fed-up at the same time, because this MF-er has violated that damn protective order AGAIN. I hear me in your disappointment with the legal system and I hear me when you turn a corner and be the person you might not yet be ready to be but who you know you need to be.

I hear me when you start to figure things out. When that one piece of advice clicks and fuels you. I hear me when you speak for yourself and you’re finally heard. 

I hear me when you finally have money in your bank account again. I hear me when you do not hesitate to say “No” to the person who will call you an argumentative bitch for doing so. 

I hear me when your voice stops shaking. 

I hear me in your journey because it’s strikingly familiar. Sadly familiar. But, familiar in an inspiring and empowering way.

I hear me when you give advice to someone else who, in that moment, has a voice that reminds you of yourself. It is then, when you hear yourself in someone else, that you’ll know how far you’ve come.

Progress fuels For Your Record. Reach out if you need support. We’ve been there.